I am in the middle of a childcare transition. That means finding the best preschool for my son. As a Mom, my mind goes to a laundry list of criteria that I will be evaluating for each school--location, loving environment, learning philosophy, etc. As a Mom with a disability, this list expands--Can I get in the door!?!
In my search, I have often included that last question--"oh by the way, can I get in the building?" Surprisingly, the answer to that inquiry at 3 locations was no. Those doors closed in my face. Continuing my search, I happened upon a Montessori school located at a church. Admittedly, I did not ask that final question; it was in a church after all. Instead, I showed up for the tour. Pulling into the church I saw the classrooms where the school was located. My access point--a set of 4 stairs leading down to a door. I called to inquire about an additional entry point to get to the school's location. The director answered.
Director- "oh your son is handicapped?"
Me- "No, he isn't. But I have a DISABILITY and use a wheelchair. Can you let me know if there is another entrance I can use to access the church and school?
Director- "Well, we only have a couple steps down, but the wheelchair is the problem."
Me- "No, actually my wheelchair IS NOT the problem, your school's lack of accessibility is the problem."
Needless to say, we struck yet another school off the list all because I could not get in the door.
But the short exchange had me thinking. Why is my wheelchair always perceived to be the problem? Why is the lack of accessibility NOT the problem? Sadly, I know the answer and it is because that is the way society thinks. I have lived this myself, in fact.
After becoming disabled at 16, I was constantly going through that dialog in my head. If only I wasn't in a wheelchair then I could go enjoy this restaurant. If only I wasn't in a wheelchair I could participate in this activity. It was not until many years later that it occurred to me that the problem was not the fact that I used a wheelchair--it was the lack of accessibility in our society that made my life difficult. Those difficulties have not lessened; my voice has just gotten louder!
Disabled folks/disabled parents have no choice but to keep pushing! We have way too many staircases we cannot climb and way too many opportunities closed to not make accessibility part of the conversation. But you can help. You can make the message stronger. You can use your voice to amplify mine! We can echo the message across the US that accessibility IS the right path for EVERYONE. We ALL benefit when everyone is given a seat at the table (and an accessible path that leads to that table).